Sleeping...

My Girls,
Tonight, at just over 4 months and 2 1/2 years old, you are sleeping in the same room.  Aubrey, you have your big girl bed, and Ashley...you are laying in the crib where your sister used to be.  It beautiful yet a little sad to see how much time has passed since I first became a mother. 

Ashley, sweet girl...you have spent every night by my side since you were born.  It was hard to lay you in the crib tonight, knowing my room would be a little emptier without you there.  I miss you already.  Hearing your sweet baby noises, feeling you breathe as I reach over to check you in the bassinet just "one more time" before I drift off to sleep.  I know God has you in His hand, but I still wish I could keep you small enough to be near me every night.

Aubrey Lynn, my precious girl...you have been in your toddler bed for a few weeks now.  You love it, but something about the night brings you a little anxiety.  You often call out for me at night at ask me to "sleep with you right here".  Oh how I've longed for these moments.  Even in my exhaustion of being woken up at strange hours of the night, I love knowing that I bring you that security you need.  I am wondering if knowing your little sister is in the room with you will bring you the comfort you need, or if you will still need me.  While I told you it is okay and you don't need to call out for me, that you are safe, part of me secretly longs to hear your little voice saying, "Mommy, Mommy".  I will miss that a little bit when it's over.  But I look forward to late nights and chats with you and your sister throughout our years together.  I hope you're never too old to have your mama crawl into bed with you to help you feel better.

You both continue to light up my world in ways I never thought possible.  In the past month, I have seen Ashley smile and giggle in ways I've never seen from a baby.  I've heard Aubrey tell me "I missed you!" and "I love you" without being prompted in any way.  Both of you bring tears of joy to this mama's eyes, and I am forever grateful that God gave me the two most perfect gifts in each of you. There is no greater joy than being your mama.

Love always,
Mama